Let's Enjoying Messing with Poetry

If
By Geoff Davies (with apologies to Kipling… )

If you can keep your head when all JTEs about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when Engrish fails you,
But make allowance for genkiness too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being talked about, like you’re not there,
Or, being stared at, don't give way to staring,
And yet don't look too good, or feel to fair;

If you can bear to hear the English they've spoken
Twisted by JTEs who keep kvetching,
Or watch the things taught them be broken,
And build 'em up with games and sketches

If you can talk with kids and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kouchous - nor lose the common touch;
If neither JTEs nor oba-chans can hurt you;
If all Japanese food is in you, and it’s getting too much;
If you can down your pint of nama biiru
With sixty seconds of nomihodi left to run-
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a JET my son!