"When the going gets tough, the tough hide under the table"
For the last few weekends I have been undertaking the mammoth task of internationalising the Japanese. It's been a tough slog, but after two weekends of intense communication I have finally managed to rid the Japanese of their terrible accents; I have harmonised relations between Japan and the rest of Asia, and I have single-handedly increased tourism to Wales from Japan by more than 700%. How have I done this? International Festivals.
Two weeks ago AJET put on the annual JETFest: a festival to celebrate and encourage relations between the Japanese and everybody else. Proud folk from such far flung places as Russia, the Americas, Australia, New Zealand, the UK, Ghana, and China represented their nations with great aplomb. Cambodia was also represented, but alas by an English and a Scottish girl. The UK, being inhabited by a factious people, was represented by the various home nations. England was proudly displayed with drinks (tea, gin and tonics) and food (biscuits, bread and marmalade) and some fine English people; that pretend place the Isle of Man was represented by the only person from the Isle of man that I have ever met outside of the Isle of Man, with some impressive slides, brochures and videos; and Scotland was represented by two of three Scots in the ken (the other one having defected to Cambodia) with posters, flags, general Scottish paraphernalia and, most importantly, Scotch. Being sandwiched between the stands offering G&Ts and Scotch I was nicely provisioned for the afternoon ahead. Ireland was represented by a small can of Guinness.
As the only Welshman in the ken it fell to me to create and man the Wales stall, accurately located between the UK/England and Isle of Man stalls.
Like my erstwhile compatriots, but more so, my booth rocked - Welsh cakes, leeks, rugby on a laptop (Wales beating Australia followed by Wales beating Scotland), Welsh rock blaring from a stereo (Manics, Catatonia, 'phonics, The Morriston Orpheus Male Voice Choir) and assorted maps, brochures, and posters of the fair and beautiful Land of My Fathers. It's a shame the Japanese didn't realise quite how much my booth rocked - they seemed more drawn towards the Isle of Man (and I'm pretty sure that that is the first time that particular phrase has ever been uttered by anyone, anywhere).
They might have a point, the Japanese that is. Dylan Thomas is said to have commented, "Land of my fathers? They can keep it", he is also quoted as describing Swansea as an "ugly, lovely, town." More recently the film "Twin Town" described Swansea as a "pretty shitty city". On the floor at the threshold of Swansea train station are emblazoned the words "Ambition is Critical", as if the founders of Swansea knew what they had in front of them. It's a shame that they chose to put that inspiring slogan on the floor, where people tread on it all day. So, the Japanese might be onto something when it comes to Swansea.
Much of "internationalising" involves of pointing, one-word dialogues and smiling. And embarrassing silences. Take this exchange I had with a very pleasant J-girl (please...)
"Never I Englando"
" Ah no, Wales, this is Wales"
"Wayurzu? Ah. Never I Englando"
"Oh, well, Wales is ichiban! Have you been to Wales before?" (Number 1/ the best)
" Ehhh...................mmm......................... London doko wa desu ka?" (Where is London?)
"In England. This is Wales. The Capital is Cardiff. Here is a photo."
"..........."
"Have some cake."
"oishi.................................sumimasen" (Delicious.................um.......... excuse me, I'm off)
Some Japanese of course know where Wales is as there are rather a lot of J-factories in the valleys of South Wales, and those that did asked me awkward questions, the answers to which I only vaguely knew, but after a G&T and a Scotch I was more than happy to bluff it, and indeed the rest of the day.
Two weeks ago AJET put on the annual JETFest: a festival to celebrate and encourage relations between the Japanese and everybody else. Proud folk from such far flung places as Russia, the Americas, Australia, New Zealand, the UK, Ghana, and China represented their nations with great aplomb. Cambodia was also represented, but alas by an English and a Scottish girl. The UK, being inhabited by a factious people, was represented by the various home nations. England was proudly displayed with drinks (tea, gin and tonics) and food (biscuits, bread and marmalade) and some fine English people; that pretend place the Isle of Man was represented by the only person from the Isle of man that I have ever met outside of the Isle of Man, with some impressive slides, brochures and videos; and Scotland was represented by two of three Scots in the ken (the other one having defected to Cambodia) with posters, flags, general Scottish paraphernalia and, most importantly, Scotch. Being sandwiched between the stands offering G&Ts and Scotch I was nicely provisioned for the afternoon ahead. Ireland was represented by a small can of Guinness.
As the only Welshman in the ken it fell to me to create and man the Wales stall, accurately located between the UK/England and Isle of Man stalls.
Like my erstwhile compatriots, but more so, my booth rocked - Welsh cakes, leeks, rugby on a laptop (Wales beating Australia followed by Wales beating Scotland), Welsh rock blaring from a stereo (Manics, Catatonia, 'phonics, The Morriston Orpheus Male Voice Choir) and assorted maps, brochures, and posters of the fair and beautiful Land of My Fathers. It's a shame the Japanese didn't realise quite how much my booth rocked - they seemed more drawn towards the Isle of Man (and I'm pretty sure that that is the first time that particular phrase has ever been uttered by anyone, anywhere).
They might have a point, the Japanese that is. Dylan Thomas is said to have commented, "Land of my fathers? They can keep it", he is also quoted as describing Swansea as an "ugly, lovely, town." More recently the film "Twin Town" described Swansea as a "pretty shitty city". On the floor at the threshold of Swansea train station are emblazoned the words "Ambition is Critical", as if the founders of Swansea knew what they had in front of them. It's a shame that they chose to put that inspiring slogan on the floor, where people tread on it all day. So, the Japanese might be onto something when it comes to Swansea.
Much of "internationalising" involves of pointing, one-word dialogues and smiling. And embarrassing silences. Take this exchange I had with a very pleasant J-girl (please...)
"Never I Englando"
" Ah no, Wales, this is Wales"
"Wayurzu? Ah. Never I Englando"
"Oh, well, Wales is ichiban! Have you been to Wales before?" (Number 1/ the best)
" Ehhh...................mmm......................... London doko wa desu ka?" (Where is London?)
"In England. This is Wales. The Capital is Cardiff. Here is a photo."
"..........."
"Have some cake."
"oishi.................................sumimasen" (Delicious.................um.......... excuse me, I'm off)
Some Japanese of course know where Wales is as there are rather a lot of J-factories in the valleys of South Wales, and those that did asked me awkward questions, the answers to which I only vaguely knew, but after a G&T and a Scotch I was more than happy to bluff it, and indeed the rest of the day.
posted by Geoff at 7:11 AM
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