The Enkai
The Japanese, much like every other nationality I have met, like to mark their special occasions by getting wasted. Why is this? Why do we all see a special event as an opportunity to drink until we can’t see? A few weeks ago I was asked to explain the annual events we have in the UK, like Christmas, New Year, Halloween, and all that. Alcohol seemed to be the common theme, no matter how I tried to spin it. Last night I attended the English department enkai – a party, it seemed, for getting to the end of the school year. I left the apartment, as usual, in a hurry and banged my head, as very usual, on the light fitting in the porch. I got to the restaurant four minutes late to find them almost finished with the first course – four minutes. “You are rate Geoff-san!” Me? I replied, I’m always late ha ha, and they all laughed. Just a little too much.
The theme of the night was established early on – it seemed to be ‘Let’s Enjoying Mixing Our Drinks’. Geoff-san, here is beer. Have gin-tonic Geoff-san. This is special sochu, drink, ah here is hot sake. Have more beer. Beer, for them, is for three things – a starter; something to wash other drinks down with; and as a palate cleanser. The running joke of the evening, that Koizumi-sensei didn’t like alcohol – told most often by Koizumi himself – never seemed to tire. Ha ha. For some suicidal reason the Japanese love to mix their drinks, indeed to drink anything and everything.
As well as looking interested in the mainly Japanese conversation going on around me I was also expected to eat anything put in front of me - which in Japan is unrealistic, and a little mean. As I was forcing down my third mouthful of raw fish flesh I was asked
"Is there some kind of food you cannot eat?"
I replied squid and octopus (because really, do you want to put that in your mouth?)
“Are you allergic?” they asked in surprise.
“No no, I just don’t like them.”
There was a sudden silence. Awkward stares at plates. They really seem to take it personally if you happen not to like a Japanese dish (which for me happens often).
After finishing dinner Koizumi-sensei asked where we should go next as, it seemed, none of them actually lives in Toyama. I suggested some fine martinis at my new favourite find, The Jazz bar. “Ha ha, but I don not like alcohol” - cue much hilarity.
The bar was a surprising success. The barman, handily, recognised me from the sports bar where I used to watch the rugby. I ordered a martini for myself in Japanese (not very hard) and handed menus around to my amazed colleagues (really, they make little excited claps when I help them with their English queries - they are not hard to impress). After a little the music began to get a little downbeat so I asked the barman to put on some John Coltrane. And of course for another martini. “What is this Geoff-san?” asked my supervisor as I coolly handed back the CD which the barman had brought over for my inspection “Oh, this is John Coltrane, he’s quite good”
“And what is this playing?” she asked ten minutes later
“This is, ah, Everytime We Say Goodbye”
“Ah soooo desu kaaa!” And I was voted Jazz president. Honestly, it was only the second time I’d been to that bar; it was a freakish coincidence that that particular barman was working that night and I totally lucked out at knowing the one song they asked me about. Still, I’ll take my kudos where I can get it; at least I didn’t fall over, or spill my drink. Or vomit.
After several more gin-tonics, martinis, and shingaporshlings, we left – the ladies to go home and, apparently, the two male teachers and me to go for ramen. It was over steaming bowls and more beer that the real purpose of the enkai is revealed – to bitch about work, specifically, my work. They are all majorly pissed off it seems at my decision to not re-contract. Not because I’m a dreamboat, but because...
“when predecessor was here at this time she signed contract again but she changie her mind right now to go back to boyfriend. It was very difficult for us. As for you we think it was ok because your girlfriend here with you. Why will you leave Geoff-sensei?” There followed some horribly embarrassing explanations on my part – getting married, want a career job and so on.
“Why did you not think this before you come?” Hmm. No real answer to that, but I tried to explain the one-year nature of the JET program – where re-contracting is an option but is not pushed. This, it seems, is a major inconvenience for JTEs, as they need continuity –which I can understand. Finally the incredibly awkward ramen was over and it was time to go, home I thought.
“Tell me Geoff-sensei,” asked the younger JTE “where do ALTs go? Ah, the Pot Still? Let’s go there…”
I finally got in at 1.45am, or so Robin tells me (sorry Robin…), for a couple of hours sleep before work. I spent the next day mostly lying down in the male teacher’s lounge trying to stop the world spinning. Why do they do these things on a school night?
The theme of the night was established early on – it seemed to be ‘Let’s Enjoying Mixing Our Drinks’. Geoff-san, here is beer. Have gin-tonic Geoff-san. This is special sochu, drink, ah here is hot sake. Have more beer. Beer, for them, is for three things – a starter; something to wash other drinks down with; and as a palate cleanser. The running joke of the evening, that Koizumi-sensei didn’t like alcohol – told most often by Koizumi himself – never seemed to tire. Ha ha. For some suicidal reason the Japanese love to mix their drinks, indeed to drink anything and everything.
As well as looking interested in the mainly Japanese conversation going on around me I was also expected to eat anything put in front of me - which in Japan is unrealistic, and a little mean. As I was forcing down my third mouthful of raw fish flesh I was asked
"Is there some kind of food you cannot eat?"
I replied squid and octopus (because really, do you want to put that in your mouth?)
“Are you allergic?” they asked in surprise.
“No no, I just don’t like them.”
There was a sudden silence. Awkward stares at plates. They really seem to take it personally if you happen not to like a Japanese dish (which for me happens often).
After finishing dinner Koizumi-sensei asked where we should go next as, it seemed, none of them actually lives in Toyama. I suggested some fine martinis at my new favourite find, The Jazz bar. “Ha ha, but I don not like alcohol” - cue much hilarity.
The bar was a surprising success. The barman, handily, recognised me from the sports bar where I used to watch the rugby. I ordered a martini for myself in Japanese (not very hard) and handed menus around to my amazed colleagues (really, they make little excited claps when I help them with their English queries - they are not hard to impress). After a little the music began to get a little downbeat so I asked the barman to put on some John Coltrane. And of course for another martini. “What is this Geoff-san?” asked my supervisor as I coolly handed back the CD which the barman had brought over for my inspection “Oh, this is John Coltrane, he’s quite good”
“And what is this playing?” she asked ten minutes later
“This is, ah, Everytime We Say Goodbye”
“Ah soooo desu kaaa!” And I was voted Jazz president. Honestly, it was only the second time I’d been to that bar; it was a freakish coincidence that that particular barman was working that night and I totally lucked out at knowing the one song they asked me about. Still, I’ll take my kudos where I can get it; at least I didn’t fall over, or spill my drink. Or vomit.
After several more gin-tonics, martinis, and shingaporshlings, we left – the ladies to go home and, apparently, the two male teachers and me to go for ramen. It was over steaming bowls and more beer that the real purpose of the enkai is revealed – to bitch about work, specifically, my work. They are all majorly pissed off it seems at my decision to not re-contract. Not because I’m a dreamboat, but because...
“when predecessor was here at this time she signed contract again but she changie her mind right now to go back to boyfriend. It was very difficult for us. As for you we think it was ok because your girlfriend here with you. Why will you leave Geoff-sensei?” There followed some horribly embarrassing explanations on my part – getting married, want a career job and so on.
“Why did you not think this before you come?” Hmm. No real answer to that, but I tried to explain the one-year nature of the JET program – where re-contracting is an option but is not pushed. This, it seems, is a major inconvenience for JTEs, as they need continuity –which I can understand. Finally the incredibly awkward ramen was over and it was time to go, home I thought.
“Tell me Geoff-sensei,” asked the younger JTE “where do ALTs go? Ah, the Pot Still? Let’s go there…”
I finally got in at 1.45am, or so Robin tells me (sorry Robin…), for a couple of hours sleep before work. I spent the next day mostly lying down in the male teacher’s lounge trying to stop the world spinning. Why do they do these things on a school night?
posted by Geoff at 1:14 AM
3 Comments:
Japanese people mix their drinks like the end of the fucking world is at hand and theyre never going to drink again....I do believe that having every kind of drink under the sun put in front of me at my bonenkai was the reason for my downfall at the midyear seminar. I mean, what do you do? Say no? Pfeh.
Maybe you coulda wheedled more money outta them by agreeding to stay ;)
Geoff, It concerns me that you see Easter as a drinking holiday. :)
Had an enkai myself last night, and indeed I do feel like assface right now. That's a bummer about the recontracting grilling, when ever they say stuff like that just look at them blankly, shake your head, and say
"sumimasen, I don't speak english."
Works like a charm.
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