Ah. Ummmm...

Because I am not a 'real' teacher I don't have a lot of the responsibility, and therefore stress, that other teachers have. I'm also at more of a liberty to do mostly what I please when I'm not teaching. I might go for a stroll around the school, or take a very comfortable seat in the men's lounge and read for an hour or two. I might, if I were so inclined, spend a few minutes on the internet.

I'm a pretty laid back chap as it is so this freedom can sometimes be a distraction. Sometimes in class I don't have anything to do other than recite some of the highly original and totally believable 'English dialogue' from the textbook, so I'm often interrupted from staring out of the window by the teacher. Actually it's not unlike the last time I had to spend most of the day in classrooms...

Sometimes I get bored, so I like to liven it up a bit. I might have a little joke with the students, lead them in a rousing "Heeeeyyyyyyy!" halfway through a class, or I might doodle on the board (I was particularly admired for my rendition of Dracula during an "I am playing the lead role" dialogue the other day).

The 'Dracula' day was one of these days - I did pretty much nothing - all day - and was bored throughout the two lessons I had, both of which I'd given verbatim to different classes for the last three days. I didn't rush to my last lesson of the day, indeed I stopped in the gents on the way for a quick tinkle. I entered the class, "Heyyyyyyy guys! English time again!" I looked down for the textbook and - oh no! Sprinklage on the trousers! Those urinals can be pesky things, especially when you're over six foot in a land of midgets. Can I teach facing the board? Probably not. Hold the textbook down there until it dries? Might look a bit weird no? Then - ping! It came to me. I looked round quickly and VOOM, raced off to the sinks in the corridor. I washed my hands and shook them all over, much like a wet dog, and walked back into the classroom distractedly wiping at my trousers with an exaggerated disappointment - oh darn, water on my trousers again....