Monday, May 28, 2007

Down and Out in Cardiff and London

I might have mentioned recently how there is nothing happening worth blogging about. There is nothing really wierd, outrageous, or infuriating, in the same way as it would be somewhere totally alien like, for example, Japan. But, really, Cardiff is as wierd as anywhere else.

The other day I was in the registry office getting myself a replacement birth certificate as, according to my mother, mine was "lost in a move." In my family we keep important documents in a camphor box; everything is in there -- deeds, report cards, marriage certificates -- it even has a birth certificate for some guy born in 1881 called Samuel George Davies. He's got a birth certificate. Managed to keep that one for more than a hundred years. Mine though?

Thinking about it -- there are also no photographs of me before the age of six in the family albums either. Funny that.

Anyway, the other day I'm sat in the registry office waiting my turn when this teenage girl comes in pushing a pram. She's decked out in the pink baseball cap and the velvet tracksuit with her arse hanging out the back. After getting the form she needs she phones her mother:

"Mum, 'ave you gorra middle name? A middle name? No, mum, a middle name. Oh. Whorrabout Dad? 'As he got one? Really? Nah, I'm down the registry place innit..."

Pretty wierd eh? Do you know if your parents have middle names? I do. I even know my great-grandfather's middle name was George.

The other day in my office the admin girl was on the phone:

"Okay, can I take your name? Nial? Can you spell that for me? Uh-huh. What, November? Huh? Your name is November? I thought it was...oh, right! Okay, so: was that an M or an N?"

Crazy.

I went to London this weekend, again. This time it was for Yoshi's brithday, the boyfriend of my old uni roomie Becky, (and more recently a JET in Takaoka). London -that's another pretty wierd place. Despite being the capital of the UK, and of England, you will hear every other language as often as you will Englsih. In fact, London is almost like being abroad. Apart from the weather of course. As I was warming myself up in a Starbucks after a hellish bus ride down on the Megabus I noticed someone walk past the window. It was Emily Laurie! I have never before randomly run into anyone I know in London, even when I lived there for a while. A few hours later and we were both in Chinatown living it up at Yoshi's birthday party with Becky, Yoshi, Davyd and Adrianna, and a whole bunch of JETs we'd never met before. It was a hoot. We got to karaoke as well at a proper Japanese karaoke place, with Sapporo beer!

The next thing I knew I was waking up on Laurie's floor at 7.30am and I had 30 minutes to get to Victoria Station to get my bus home. I staggered around the room, gathering up my stuff and throwing on my bag, jacket, and umbrella. I stumbled down the road and jumped on the Tube. After one stop the announcer came on to say Victoria was closed due to flooding. So with 15 minutes to go, hungover, laden with stuff, trying to read my mini-London map without glasses, and desperately needing a wee, I ran from Westminster to Victoria. I almost died, especially after white-van-man sent me the wrong way after I asked directions halfway. I staggered into the station at 7.58am. Sweat was streaming down my face. I leant into the coach to make sure it had a toilet, otherwise I'd have to race to the station toilets and potentially miss my bus. Or I could just wet myself. I couldn't see that anyone had boarded yet so I sat down to wait. I was still desperate for a wee and wondered if I had time to run to the station toilets. A few minutes later somebody else got on, and I realised that the bus had people on board already who I hadn't seen, probably because my glasses were all fogged up. I got on, feeling a little stupid, and headed for the toilet.

London is a crazy city. This is what the coach driver saw that morning:

"So this guy runs up to the door of the bus, soaking wet right but it's not raining. He's got these glasses hanging off his face, and he's all confused and going on about how he's wet 'imself! He's real pale as well and I think 'uh-oh got another one here - 'care in the community''. Then, get this, he sits down on the bench and just looks at the coach! He's all shakin' and fidgetin', and looking around, and he keeps wiping his face with his sleeve and rocking back and fore. He's sat there for five minutes, rocking, and just as this Japanese guy gets on he jumps of the bench and into the bus and runs down the aisle. I didn't see him after that, but well...you get some wierd ones here I tell you."

2 Comments:

Blogger redbird said...

I do remember making your mother a little nervous and defensive when I asked to see baby pictures of you. If you didn't look so much like your father I'd say secret adoption...

1:46 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

always entertaining mate, keep up the good work and help keep me from doing any work :)

Any chance you might still be around the UK in August? If so I most certainly hope to see you there!

8:27 AM  

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