"Our Chief Weapon is Surprise..."
Japan really is a country of extremes. In winter there is three feet of snow for four months solid. In summer it is so hot you have to wade through sweat and melted pavement. Throughout this it rains. All the time.
It is also a country of personal extremes. I haven't experienced such high highs and low lows since puberty. The slightest thing will touch off an almost hysterical good mood, or a black dog of a bad one. In the final stretch of this grand adventure I find myself becoming more and more unwilling to tolerate the slightest incompetence, inconvenience, or oversight. Whilst in a perfectly pleasant mood cycling to school in the mornings I have found myself shouting at the driver who fails, again, to even consider looking left as he shoots out of a side road. Sometimes, in the face of the stunningly inconsiderate intractability of my supervisor I have had to leave the room to prevent myself from snapping. I once had to go to the empty meeting room as I could feel a 'Basil Fawlty' coming on.
For the last year I have thought of these moods, these situations created by external factors, as challenges. As a growing experience. In the last two days however I have lost my temper in school, twice.
8.15am
Me: Ohayo gozaimas...good morning... ah, Honda-san, high five, yeah!....Hey there!.....and ohayo gozaimas to you too kyoto-sensei......So sensei, what's the schedule today, pretty bare eh?
'Supervisor': Ah good morning Geoff-san. You have only one lesson today.
Me: Wicked, is that 6th period?
'Supervisor': Yes Geoff-san, ne, 6th period.
Me: cool.....doobey dooby dooo....
10.30am
Me: Aaah, what a good book that was. Hmm, what time is it? Plenty of time til my lesson at 2pm. Hmm, should do some marking...maybe a coffee first.
JTE: Geoff-san, ne, etto, please... kind of paper.... lesson.
Me: Sorry?
JTE: Sorry....throat....voice...chotto.
12.55pm
Me: Hmm, lunchtime I think. Sausage sandwich, caesar salad with ranch, mmm, apricots. I'll just pop this in the microwa-
JTE: Geoff-san, let's go.
Me: Excuse me?
JTE: Lesson... now, 12.55.
Me: Ha ha, no, it's not 'til 2.20, 6th period. Ha ha, you must have made a mistake.
JTE: No. Now. Schedule is changey. 6th period is now.
Me: ......Of course it is! Of course it's now! Because as usual nobody tells me anything!
JTE: ...?....
Me: Okay, right! I'm coming I'm coming, but I have to just ... Excuse me, Kishida-sensei, I thought my lesson was at sixth period?
'Supervisor': Ne, maybe it is now. The board, hmm, 1.55 it is.
Me: 1.55? But, it's 12.55 now. Mase-sensei, she's...why did no-one? Nobody ever... fine.
You see, I'm the kind of chap who doesn't like things sprung on him; not a fan of the 'last-minute' (at least, when it's being dictated by somebody else). Especially when it's as inflexible as a Japanese teacher blinking at you.
After the lesson I felt a bit abashed and apologised for my behaviour:
Me: I'm sorry I got annoyed before, it's just it's frustrating when-
JTE: Yes, you are eating your lunch.
Me: Yes, well, it's not that, I don't mind missing lunch, it's just that it's very difficult when nobody-
JTE: I have lost my voice.
Me: Yes, well, yes, so - it's sometimes hard to prepare when nobody tells me when the school is on the alternate schedule...
JTE: You will eat your lunch?
Me: Sorry?.............yes. I will eat my lunch now.
Today. Arrived at school at 12.30 after visiting the special school where I was made to make two students who cannot speak , at all, have a conversation with each other entirely in gurgles.
12.45
Hmm, nice lunch. Do some marking now.
12.46
Oh no. What? Oh for the love of...! Grrroan. Ohhh gaaawwwd. Maybe I'll check my mail.
1.30
Have agonising conversation with supervisor about flights.
1.55
JTE: Geoff-san, lets go.
Me: Hmm? Our lesson is not until 7th period, no?
'Supervisor': Now, Geoff-san. Only 45 minutes today. Different schedule.
Me: Oh. Right. Now? You're telling me this now?
'Supervisor': Only 45 minutes.
Me: ......
'Supervisor': ......
JTE: ......
Me: Right! Come on then, let's go! Actually, I'll have to meet you in the class sensei - I have to run to the toilet, because I thought I had more time. Because nobody told me anything. Again!
It is also a country of personal extremes. I haven't experienced such high highs and low lows since puberty. The slightest thing will touch off an almost hysterical good mood, or a black dog of a bad one. In the final stretch of this grand adventure I find myself becoming more and more unwilling to tolerate the slightest incompetence, inconvenience, or oversight. Whilst in a perfectly pleasant mood cycling to school in the mornings I have found myself shouting at the driver who fails, again, to even consider looking left as he shoots out of a side road. Sometimes, in the face of the stunningly inconsiderate intractability of my supervisor I have had to leave the room to prevent myself from snapping. I once had to go to the empty meeting room as I could feel a 'Basil Fawlty' coming on.
For the last year I have thought of these moods, these situations created by external factors, as challenges. As a growing experience. In the last two days however I have lost my temper in school, twice. 8.15am
Me: Ohayo gozaimas...good morning... ah, Honda-san, high five, yeah!....Hey there!.....and ohayo gozaimas to you too kyoto-sensei......So sensei, what's the schedule today, pretty bare eh?
'Supervisor': Ah good morning Geoff-san. You have only one lesson today.
Me: Wicked, is that 6th period?
'Supervisor': Yes Geoff-san, ne, 6th period.
Me: cool.....doobey dooby dooo....
10.30am
Me: Aaah, what a good book that was. Hmm, what time is it? Plenty of time til my lesson at 2pm. Hmm, should do some marking...maybe a coffee first.
JTE: Geoff-san, ne, etto, please... kind of paper.... lesson.
Me: Sorry?
JTE: Sorry....throat....voice...chotto.
12.55pm
Me: Hmm, lunchtime I think. Sausage sandwich, caesar salad with ranch, mmm, apricots. I'll just pop this in the microwa-
JTE: Geoff-san, let's go.
Me: Excuse me?
JTE: Lesson... now, 12.55.
Me: Ha ha, no, it's not 'til 2.20, 6th period. Ha ha, you must have made a mistake.
JTE: No. Now. Schedule is changey. 6th period is now.
Me: ...
JTE: ...?....
Me: Okay, right! I'm coming I'm coming, but I have to just ... Excuse me, Kishida-sensei, I thought my lesson was at sixth period?
'Supervisor': Ne, maybe it is now. The board, hmm, 1.55 it is.
Me: 1.55? But, it's 12.55 now. Mase-sensei, she's...why did no-one? Nobody ever...
You see, I'm the kind of chap who doesn't like things sprung on him; not a fan of the 'last-minute' (at least, when it's being dictated by somebody else). Especially when it's as inflexible as a Japanese teacher blinking at you.
After the lesson I felt a bit abashed and apologised for my behaviour:
Me: I'm sorry I got annoyed before, it's just it's frustrating when-
JTE: Yes, you are eating your lunch.
Me: Yes, well, it's not that, I don't mind missing lunch, it's just that it's very difficult when nobody-
JTE: I have lost my voice.
Me: Yes, well, yes, so - it's sometimes hard to prepare when nobody tells me when the school is on the alternate schedule...
JTE: You will eat your lunch?
Me: Sorry?.............yes. I will eat my lunch now.
Today. Arrived at school at 12.30 after visiting the special school where I was made to make two students who cannot speak , at all, have a conversation with each other entirely in gurgles.
12.45
Hmm, nice lunch. Do some marking now.
12.46
Oh no. What? Oh for the love of...! Grrroan. Ohhh gaaawwwd. Maybe I'll check my mail.
1.30
Have agonising conversation with supervisor about flights.
1.55
JTE: Geoff-san, lets go.
Me: Hmm? Our lesson is not until 7th period, no?
'Supervisor': Now, Geoff-san. Only 45 minutes today. Different schedule.
Me: Oh. Right. Now? You're telling me this now?
'Supervisor': Only 45 minutes.
Me: ......
'Supervisor': ......
JTE: ......
Me: Right! Come on then, let's go! Actually, I'll have to meet you in the class sensei - I have to run to the toilet, because I thought I had more time. Because nobody told me anything. Again!
posted by Geoff at 6:39 AM
2 Comments:
The same thing happened to me yesterday. Everyone failed to mention that we were having a lecturer visit the school during 6th period and that all classes were shortened 10 minutes. So, the teacher with whom I was supposed to teach writing comes to the teacher's room 15 minutes into what should have been my 35 minute lesson wondering where the hell I am. Needless to say, I got pissed. I straight up asked the JTE, in earshot of the other 5 JTEs who were grinning stupidly at my crazy gaijin antics (which apparently includes being late to class), "So, do you all think it's funny to NOT let me know schedule changes? Does making me look like an idiot make you laugh?" I concluded with a "I hope you're enjoying this," and stomped off to my class. Mother fuckers. They can all rot.
I wouldn't know anything about this. I never do anything except have a hangover.
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